The Patriarchy- Sunday, January 13, 2008

Have you ever read Deborah Tanner’s “You Just Don’t Understand”? I remember what a profound impact it had on me. The book outlines how males and females in our society are socialized, perceived and supported differently. I realized that my perceptions of the inequality of how male and female children are raised are true and go beyond my own family. I have a great brother who was born 2 years before me. In our family, he could do no wrong and when he did “it was just because he’s all boy”, which meant there was something golden about him and whatever he did.

Despite all the efforts to the contrary, the equality in the way males and females are treated in our society, and often our world, has a long way to go. It feels like this disparity is in the air, so ingrained in our cultures that we don’t even see it except when it’s most glaring and then we shrug our shoulders and feel that that’s just the way things are. Is there some unwritten agreement at a cellular level that has been passed down for eons of time?

There is a rise of the feminine coming, we feel it and it may feel uncomfortable to both men and women. It’s interesting to me that many of the TV shows recently portray men to be such boobs (boy look at the use of this word!) and jerks. Is this self-effacing behavior or a carrot from the dominant paradigm? It’s all so obvious and yet insidious. The big question is: How do we heal it? What really needs to be healed?

What needs to be healed is within us. There is an imbalance of the masculine and feminine is us that is projected out into all we see and feel. This is the only place of true healing because if it’s healed within us then we won’t feel it out in the world either. First, we can hold 100% acceptance that this is our perception (those of us who have it). It’s necessary to feel the inequality within us, in our bodies and feelings. If we deny this then how can we heal it? Next we can forgive ourselves. This doesn’t mean we were responsible for creating it, but that we hold 100% responsibility for it’s truth in us. Forgiving ourselves and our perception, we bless it and let it go. Now we imagine a world of equality of value. There is a premium importance here of not making this just a mental exercise yet staying out of the drama or victim modes. Maybe you can identify a situation in your own life where this was evident and feel how you felt then and now about what happened.

This is a big gift because the imbalance of the masculine and feminine within all of us is deep and historical. Practicing this healing whenever we identify these old feelings of imbalance can begin to ameliorate the depth of this and begin to free us from roles that we never wanted in the first place.
Blessings,
Laurel