Ideas of the Mind vs the Heart- Saturday, July 26, 2008

As usual, my mind always has it’s own ideas about what to write. It can run circles around me that are so impressive. Yet when I sit down at the computer, even though I may have believed that a certain idea would be great to write about, I can’t remember any of it! This is the blessing of my soul to be sure. Yes my mind is occcasionally brilliant but that’s not what I or probably you, what to hear.

Unless I ask for another part of me, I just hear the mind. This new journey calls me toward a resonance deeper in my body, where I sit in my heart and listen from there. This is the challenge, to do this every day, to begin to let another part of me be in charge. In longing for the musings of a deeper clearer part of me, the heart offers it’s own intelligence. Yet the mind says not to trust it, so it took alot of small steps to get here, where something else is leading me. Breathing, listening, following in trust even though results were not guaranteed. Well really, that’s what my mind says, it says the mind KNOWS, so I should trust it. Yeah right!

What I know is I am a lot more me, simpler and clearer, without the mind leading. Here is no fear, just embracing what is, being. Just see what happens when the mind gets to take the back seat. Every moment becomes fuller, more vibrant. Here, here, just here. Yes this is all there is. Here is where my heart sings and I can let go of looking for things to be other than they are. There is really no other truth than the present. This is freedom. Being here shapes my whole day, one moment at a time, breath by breath. In trust, I give up searching , I am all that is.

So sorry, the mind had some interesting things to talk about but really what is more important than learning how to BE. To be in love with my life, to feel all my cells sing, to feel so full it’s delicious. Maybe another time this will be more interesting for the mind. Today it’s an all Hearts day.
Blessings,
Laurel

I Know Nothing- Monday, June 2, 2008

Today my mind is searching for something which I know is not there. This is what the mind does when it is distressed, it goes on and on looking for answers and explanations. They are not there and whatever I find still doesn’t allow me to sit deep within myself in contentment.

When I am sitting deep within me, holding on to the only thing that is real: the life within me, the soul or spirit or whatever it is; then I need no answers. There are no questions as Being is the answer to everything. The answer comes out of being in an easy and creative flow. There is no striving.

I am human, imperfect and I get distracted from me, from the core of my being. It’s okay if I don’t stay too long and begin to forget who I really am. I am compassionate toward my humaness and to yours also. We have been so drowned in ideas since we’ve been here that it’s hard to find reality, to feel the truth within us. We think time is in short supply and that we can’t Be now, since we have to do now. But the doing is empty of our life, shallow and meaningless. Being is always full.

I am so grateful that I took myself here today. Being with me is always the answer and is the freedom I cherish.

Gratitude to The Council of Trees,

Laurel

Comments:

Just last week, in the middle of a night of celebration with my friends, I heard myself say “We can’t know all the answers right now.” It made me think for a second, and then I realized that this statement is always true. Like you said, it’s all about loving your human-ness.
Russen

Great comment! If we knew the answers, then would we be right? The answers need to come out of our present and our presence in the now. What is presented has many layers to be read and felt. Sitting in the present is the best way to begin to access our inner knowing, to begin to approach our truth. Laurel

The Mind, Guilt and Shame- Sunday, Febraury 17, 2008

It’s okay to be who and what you are. Do you believe this?

When we were younger we felt if we could just do everything right then all our doubts about ourselves would be untrue. Where does this doubt come from anyway? For some of us, it was passed down from our parents, but many had no such parental inscriptions. I don’t even know how prevalent this is in other cultures but this lack of basic esteem and striving for perfection is rampant here in the US. It is evident in our drinking and addiction rates and even the massive amount of people who have safeguarded themselves in the box of a fundamental religion. We don’t feel good about ourselves and need a way out of this pain.

Many try to use mind control but some of us find this a futile struggle. The constant retraining of thoughts and beliefs is tiring and does it ever end? It seems something is wrong at a core level or something is right at the core level that isn’t being recognized. What if all you understand about who you are is not quite true? If real growth and learning come from what we do NOT know, then we somehow need to open to a new way of seeing ourselves and our world.

The trees say we are the creators and masters of our own lives. I squirmed at this for a long time when I first heard it. It felt way too big and the opposite of everything I’d been taught. How can I have power over my own life when I feel so buffeted by everything around me? How can I control what I feel and think? Won’t I just turn into an obnoxious egotistic brat? Well it really is a step by step process of understanding something new and the tools to implement it. A new way to be with the guilt, shame and disbelief of the mind is taught. The way out of pain (and out of trying to control everything so that you are not in pain) is elucidated step by step. It did not happen overnight for me, even though I had the trees talking in my ears most nights; it took months. I love this because I am not trying to control my thinking, which seemed like an impossible thing to do anyway.

Deep in my being there is a feeling of wholeness and deep joy. There is freedom and gratitude for this deep gift from The Council of Trees. The teachings come at our understanding of who and what we are from other ways besides the intellect. We are much much bigger than what we can grasp in our minds. We love our imperfections, our humanness and our lives. We stop running away from ourselves and embrace our lives and the fullness within.
Blessings,
Laurel

Being Present- Monday, January 21, 2008

Dear Friends,
Today is a good day to spend a little time with yourself. Today is a new beginning, a day like no others. Give yourself this gift of today. Take a few deep breaths and settle into your body. What cozyness is there? Are there any places of tension? Breath into the tension and let it go now. Today is your day so take with you just what you want and let anything else go. ( I drop my shoulders ) Listen carefully to the magic in you, the wondrous workings of your physical body and the subtle feelings that move through it. Wiggle a little, access the little child in you who wiggled alot all day long. Maybe wiggle a lot if it feels good:)

I want to share a story that helped me understand the wealth of depth and memory of what’s in our bodies. Quite a few years ago in a CranioSacral Therapy class for treating children, I had an unusual experience. In order to teach us about the birth process, we were lead back through our own birth. We did this a few times, starting at conception and feeling and moving with the process as it flowed. We were working in groups of two and I had teamed up with a kind gentle man that I felt I could trust to let go deeply. It was instructive to feel so much of what was going on with my parents and feel the whole journey from start to finish.

As I came out the birth canal, the whole room reaked of cigarettes. I kept asking my partner if he smoked and he didn’t at all, never had. Where was the smell coming from? It was coming from me, from my memory, from my cells memory! I knew my Mom smoked during the pregnancy, but this was NOT from my thoughts, this was from me. It took me awhile to really understand that it’s all in us, really it’s ALL in us. Every memory, every smell, taste, touch, sound is planted in you way before your cognitive processes develop and function well. This may be forgotten as we grow into our minds and we start allowing our thoughts to rule what we attune to each day.

So today take back your body, it’s not just something your mind drags around to do what it wants. It’s you, an important part of you and keeper of so many feelings and understandings. It is your master puzzle. Pick up a piece now and take it in, fully allowing yourself to be with it. You can accept it now, you have the maturity and insight to know it doesn’t have to run you anymore. Breathe it in and then let it go. Your life now is what you choose and all the memories can be opened gently so their weight doesn’t hold you back anymore. Now you belong here, now you are free.
Blessings,
Laurel

The Patriarchy- Sunday, January 13, 2008

Have you ever read Deborah Tanner’s “You Just Don’t Understand”? I remember what a profound impact it had on me. The book outlines how males and females in our society are socialized, perceived and supported differently. I realized that my perceptions of the inequality of how male and female children are raised are true and go beyond my own family. I have a great brother who was born 2 years before me. In our family, he could do no wrong and when he did “it was just because he’s all boy”, which meant there was something golden about him and whatever he did.

Despite all the efforts to the contrary, the equality in the way males and females are treated in our society, and often our world, has a long way to go. It feels like this disparity is in the air, so ingrained in our cultures that we don’t even see it except when it’s most glaring and then we shrug our shoulders and feel that that’s just the way things are. Is there some unwritten agreement at a cellular level that has been passed down for eons of time?

There is a rise of the feminine coming, we feel it and it may feel uncomfortable to both men and women. It’s interesting to me that many of the TV shows recently portray men to be such boobs (boy look at the use of this word!) and jerks. Is this self-effacing behavior or a carrot from the dominant paradigm? It’s all so obvious and yet insidious. The big question is: How do we heal it? What really needs to be healed?

What needs to be healed is within us. There is an imbalance of the masculine and feminine is us that is projected out into all we see and feel. This is the only place of true healing because if it’s healed within us then we won’t feel it out in the world either. First, we can hold 100% acceptance that this is our perception (those of us who have it). It’s necessary to feel the inequality within us, in our bodies and feelings. If we deny this then how can we heal it? Next we can forgive ourselves. This doesn’t mean we were responsible for creating it, but that we hold 100% responsibility for it’s truth in us. Forgiving ourselves and our perception, we bless it and let it go. Now we imagine a world of equality of value. There is a premium importance here of not making this just a mental exercise yet staying out of the drama or victim modes. Maybe you can identify a situation in your own life where this was evident and feel how you felt then and now about what happened.

This is a big gift because the imbalance of the masculine and feminine within all of us is deep and historical. Practicing this healing whenever we identify these old feelings of imbalance can begin to ameliorate the depth of this and begin to free us from roles that we never wanted in the first place.
Blessings,
Laurel