Amidst the intensity of the last month there is an underlying knowing that this will pass and what will come forward will not be more chaos and separation but more truth. What is truth? I’m not sure but it feels right deep in my body and soul…I know it when I find it. There is something beyond the external illusion of what seems soooo important which can feel like matter conjured up for drama and posturing.
I know my truth lies deeper and in more stillness and that’s where I often go, especially when people and situations throw up big dramas and long treatises on “what’s important to understand”, that is full of shadow and emptiness. My heart is made up, it doesn’t want to act out others dramas, be in someone else’s truth, go along on someone else’s ride unless it’s headed in the right direction. When my own dramas show up they are big enough for me and they are my responsibility. That’s my job now, to heal what comes for me. I don’t/can’t go looking for others to fix anymore, that’s just the distractions talking, pulling me away from the true work. I used to think I would be okay if I healed/helped others. The answers for others are quick, easy and all in my head. So codependent, so encouraged by the dogmas of churches and consensus.
My own answers are deep, wrenching at times, real and nourishing if I take that ride to it’s finish, telling my truth and asking myself to step up to only what’s real in life, to the trust and love that’s behind it all. This is self-full love. This is the bottom line of what works. Yes, let’s be as kind as possible to our mirrors and our companions. They are doing their jobs too.
Every day in my work I am confronted with disconnection, separation and disassociation in others bodies and minds. I love my work, I am truly grateful that I can be present to shine a light on what hurts and encourage what heals to come forth. I see how hard it is for us to love ourselves, how difficult to see who we really are and to accept fully our bodies and our lives. My clients have taught me so much about myself and about healing. Mostly, how layered, tender and complex we are and how powerfully gentleness and presence works. This world takes us on the ride of a lifetime literally, and to find our ground, our light and true direction is the miracle, but hopefully not the exception.
The universe is conspiring to help us see the truth, to guide us back to ourselves, to throw up so much chaos in our faces, we have to surrender to the truth inside ourselves, to take refuge from the storm of the unreal to the holy temple within, to the heart. The mind will never stop wanting unending answers to it’s unending questions. The story has to stop somewhere so reality can have a chance to grow and bloom.
If it doesn’t feel real, it may not be or at least not for you. Please trust yourself. Let’s go back to something simpler. Forget the story, feel what is real, rest in your breath and body. Walk in nature. You may not know all the ‘answers’ but you will rarely come out confused.
Biggest blessings,
Laurel and the Trees
Comments:
I went to Rockport, MA this weekend, and talked to the sea for the first time. On the pure shores, rocky and stark, the land is just teeming with life. The sea, she has her own way, a mother that knows what’s best for you whether you like it or not. At her edge, I filled myself with the energy of her winds and waves, but she just as readily, she took all that away, leaving me a clean, empty vessel. It was a humbling experience, for one who spends so much time in their divinity. russen
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